HOLY GARAGE SALE, BATMAN!

We had one hell of a garage sale yesterday. Here, in middle Alabama, the Mexicans come by the minivan fulls. They do buy stuff, but the steal a shit load as well. Stealing from a garage sale? Really? Whatever. I  still made BANK! We had the normal weirdo's, one lady told me that it was ridiculous for my children to have as many clothes as they did. And then there's ALWAYS the person that wants to give you a nickle for something that you have marked $5, then they pull out $100 bill!
But the strangest thing that has EVER happened to me happened toward the end of the day....
An older couple came up and was very interested in the jewelry that I had, what was left of it that had not been stolen. I explained to them that I used to be a sales rep for this brand and it was very expensive so the prices that I had marked on them were more than reasonable. Of course ,I made them a HUGE deal. And much to my surprise (I hope youre picking up my sarcasm) they didn't have enough money. So, I took what they had. Then, shockingly enough, they found something else on their way out and just happened to have a little more left. WOW!!  They went to their truckm then turned around and came back. They wanted to 'pray' for us. But the man had to go to the truck and get his keys, on his key chain was a little vile. What I'm about to tell you is 100% true! He straight up annointed me with oil. I shit you not. Then he prayed, to JEASUUUUSSS for us to sell everything we had. I am usually very touched and thankful when people pray for me and I pray for people all of the time. But I guess I just wasn't moved by the spirit since they had just screwed us out of about $65.

Shameless Plug

I used to sell the #1 skin care products in the world, I loved them, we all know who they are, but I won't mention any names.

My sister has recently started selling a skin care line, and I love it! These products are phenomenal. I saw a huge difference in the appearance of my skin in less than a week!!
Please check out her website:

www.mandytrawick@myrandf

School Project

My child is in kindergarten.  In the beginning of the year, we didn't have a lot of projects to do (I say we, as if she really helps), now, as the year is drawing to a close, we have something different every week. I am not complaining,I kind of enjoy it. But you know how it is, every day, it's something else, wear yellow, dress like your favorite character out of a book (she wouldn't go as Scarlett O'Hara, like I suggested), make a yam into something. The yam was my favorite, I , uh I mean , WE made The Little MerYAM. She was beautiful.  There was also the "poster about me", I really enjoyed this one!! Of course, my penmanship and spelling are so bad, she may have gotten extra points because the teacher thought she really did it. I can't WAIT until we have to build a solar system! My family used to have one that my brother, the oldest, built and we passed around from cousin to cousin.  But I digress,  Anyway, this week, they are studying germs (I think my children are well versed on germs seeing as how I do not clean) . They are supposed to come to school dressed as if they are sick. We decided on chicken pox, it's cute, I am sure there will be 50 more of them.   But I have a devious side.  Any Seinfeld fans out there???
"They gave me gonorrhea!"

This one has some meaning.....

I have realized, very recently, something I should have known for a very long time.  Whether you are going through absolute hell or just a really sucky day, God is there. He is trying to tell you something. I am not saying that everything happens for a reason, because I don't believe that. We are mortal, things are going to happen to us that are bad. We lose parents, friends, I have even buried twins. It rains at important events, we fight with a loved one, we lose jobs.  It may be the worst day of your life. Be quiet and listen. God is speaking to you. He maybe saying "It's going to be ok."
When we buried out twins, who were premature, I thought, "If this changes someones views on abortion, then my tragedy has served a purpose". I have no idea if that happened. Since then, I have been dedicating my time to March of Dimes.  I was having an outdoor event to raise money for MOD. I prayed,"PLEASE Lord, only you can control the weather. I need a beautiful day"  3 days before, we got the word from local meteorologist that it was going to be very stormy.  I was, of course, very upset.  God said, "I didn't say 'no' I said wait.".  We moved the even to Sunday. In the 3 days before the event, we were mentioned on every television station's news and website. It was publicity! See, he always has a plan. 
So, be quiet and listen.

I will return to my snarkyness tomorrow...

smart cars?

I saw one of those little and tiny smart cars today. I am wondering why they call them 'smart'.  Here is a parable for you:
One day, at local a gas station, the owner of a bright yellow 'smart' car was laughing as he filled his car up for $12, that will last him a month and a half. On the other side of the pump was a big, beautiful, black SUV. The owner of that SUV filled his car up for $1,258.72, that will last him a week.  As they were leaving, the 'smart' car pulled out in front of the SUV. He was creamed and had to spend $58,987.42 on medical bills. The owner of the SUV, had to spend $1.35 on a box of band aids, because he was drinking a Pepsi and the can cut his lip when he hit a bump in the road as he was leaving the gas station. Pepsi heard about his injury, and in an act of kindness sent him a check for $12,000.
Who's the smart one now?

Time Out

In this politically correct age, where we aren't allowed to beat our kids, some fool came up with the 'time out'.  I guess this is the sensitive person's equivalent to standing in the corner, which I usually got after I had my ass worn out.  No, my parents rarely used 'time-out'. My mother may have taken some time out to sneak in the bedroom and have a swig of homemade muscodine wine while waiting for my dad to come home and whip his belt off with the speed of superman, and spank me or my sister.  If I got sent to my room, I knew it was to wait for  what was coming next.  My father always used a belt, big and leather. My mother, however, had a name for her weapon of choice, THE PADDLE. We, as children, were terrified of both.  A-N-Y-W-A-Y......Back to time out.
I have tried this method. I even purchased a sweet little hand painted chair with the words, 'Time Out' in pink and beautiful pink and blue flowers painted all over.  I have used the bottom stair. I have used a chair in the living room. I have tried everything! What it comes down to is this.  Every time I put my kids in time out, I forget they are there. Not sure how effective this is.

The Whole Fam Damily

Let me give you a little back ground on my family. I have an older brother and a younger sister. Both are married with children. My brother's children are grown, and in college. My sister's children are my own children's age. (We have a LOoooooong way to go before college). They all live in the same city with my parents, aka MiMi and PaPa.  We, however, live about 5 hours away. I understand that my family is crazy, but I still love them.
Recently I suggested a family get together the day before Easter. I know this is not going to happen. I won't go into anything else here (Each family member has their own definition and opinion of family time)  While I know my idea of a Norman Rockwell day on the river, grilling out, laughing, playing board games: it will never happen, I can always dream. I know, if the family day happens, it will end in yelling, screaming, whining and tears. And there is no telling how the kids will act.

If any of the above mentioned are reading, I am sure this will cause ANOTHER fight. Please don't get offended, this is all a statement of fact.

I hate that bitch Barbie

I really hate Barbie. Not because she's gorgeous, skinny, has an unlimited wardrobe, drives a pink corvette, or has a boyfriend who can't talk. No, I hate her because she and about 1000 of her friends live in my house, rent free. She also makes a horrible mess everytime she has a party.My kids adore her, she's like the fun aunt that buys them beer, or candy cigarets. The kids can't listen when she's around, I think she controls their minds.   She also makes me scream and cuss like a victim of terets. Barbie may just be a demon, see, when I  put her in the garbage can, she comes back, looking at me with those dead eyes and that shit eating grin.
But, I have a plan, the one thing that Barbie is powerless against,(dun dun duuuuun) THE GARAGE SALE.....

I couldn't get out of bed this morning, but, I am very sorry to hear about your hangnail

For about a year now, I have been dealing with some extreme and inexplicable pain, all over my body. Dr.'s made me feel as if I was  crazy. Their answer was exercise or take a multi vitamin. I did both.  Nothing helped. I took Advil, Tylenol, and stronger pain killers. Nothing helped.
The pain recently became almost debilitating. After several visits with different Dr.'s I finally found a Rheumatologist who asked all of the right questions. I told him all my past history with different problems that I won't go into, including the fact that I have NEVER slept well.  He came to the conclusion that I have Fibromyalgia. I laughed and told him I thought that was a fake disease. This is how most people feel about it.  But I liked this Dr. and I have a real peace about his treatment plan. He does not want to dope me up on pills, he wants to get to the root of the problem, which is most likely my sleeping habits.
What I want to tell you is that until you know the kind of pain that myself, and others like me, experience on nearly a daily basis, you shouldn't judge, as I did in the past.  I read up on the disease and everything, even stuff I have just learned to live with, is text book.
I hadn't thought too much about it until I had one of the worst pain days ever, yesterday. I realized things that we all take for granted.  It hurt just to stand, to drive, to get up! I could not even go to the tanning bed, because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get up.  I couldn't let my kids sit in my lap, or even snuggle them while they slept last night.   You would not believe the exhaustion I experience and the smallest activity. Every little activity expends so much of my energy that by the end of the day, I can't enjoy my family. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't lay in bed writhing in pain everyday. I have had a lot of really good days, I have taken them for granted. I know yesterday was God's way of showing me that I need to make the most of the good days and not to push myself on the bad ones.
I know most of you think, "I thought you were fine."  Well, for most of my life, I have been made to feel as though feeling bad was a sign of weakness, and I just might be faking it. So, I learned to live with it. But, now, I know there is a reason for it. I am not just old, or fat, or out of shape.
Walk a mile in my flip flops, on a good day even, you'll see.--
I recently posted this to facebook because some people in my life seemed to not give a shit about what I was going through. I realized it was because they just didn't understand. I thought it would help, those certain people to stop telling me ,"Have you tried _____", well, no, I haven't thought of that, I like this horrible pain. My favorite was when people  want to compare their pain with mine. This is bullshit, I am sorry you have a hangnail, but I couldn't get out of bed this morning. 

welcome to my awesome blog

So, I decided to start blogging, because my head is full of all of these thoughts, and I think you all be will better for hearing them. I am sarcastic, snarky, and kinda bitchy. If you don't like what I have to say, you don't have to read it.  Names will not be changed. I will embarrass the innocent and accuse the guilty. I will, however, always cover my own ass. I may get sappy from time to time, I do have somewhat of a heart.
Hope you enjoy!